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Update: Giveaway has ended
The adoption wait is a roller-coaster of emotions, with hopeful adoptive parents trying to expedite as much of the process as possible, but ultimately discovering that so much is out of their hands. I have briefly hinted at these emotions, but it would take several posts to explain the fear, joy, hopefulness, impatience, and grief I felt during our eighteen-month wait.
Naomi Quick is an adoptive momma who understands. I recently read her book, Don’t Waste Your Wait: Embracing the Journey of Bringing Your Child Home, a book written to encourage in-process families along with the friends and family supporting them. If you or someone you know is in the adoption process, this short book will encourage you to discover how you can wait well.
Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book to review. My opinions are honest and completely my own.
Quick note: At the end of this review is a surprise! Giveaway has ended.
Naomi’s Story as a Hopeful Adoptive Parent
Naomi started a blog to record what God was doing during her own eighteen-month adoption wait through the foster care system. She uses those posts to provide a chronological story for readers to follow as she gives them post-adoption insights in how to glorify God during this unique season. Naomi says:
“There can be an overwhelming tendency to waste our wait. To be so fixated on what – more accurately, who – is missing that we miss the moments God’s given us. Moments we can use intentionally. Moments He knows we need at the onset of the wildest, hardest, most beautiful adventure we will ever take.”
Adoption Wait Emotions
Don’t Waste Your Wait is a short and fairly easy read but does a wonderful job of explaining the emotions hopeful adoptive parents feel during their adoption wait. Some of the chapters are entitled, “Grieve,” “Heal,” and “Surrender,” giving words to the thoughts and feelings of in-process families, while also not undermining the pain, loss, and trauma of the children. I wish my friends and family could have read her book during the process, as she gives beautiful advice to support systems, helping them understand how to help. In Chapter 4, “Heal,” she says:
Recently, I tried to explain to someone the importance of having hardship recognized. Yes, we need to be encouraged. Yes, we need to hear God’s truth. But we also need to have someone come alongside us and acknowledge things haven’t been easy.
During our miscarriage, infertility, and even during our adoption wait, people frequently tried to make me and my husband feel better by saying empty platitudes. Most days, the acknowledgment of the trial, someone telling us that they hear and see what we are experiencing would have brought us more comfort than an overused phrase.
In addition to being a source of encouragement to seek God, Naomi also provides very practical advice to families and their support systems. She discusses ways to bring God glory during the wait, including actively advocating and providing for orphans in ways other than adoption. Her journaling and blogging served as healthy and practical ways to wait that also brought attention to the needs of adoptive families and children.
Hoping in God During Your Adoption Wait
Within the book, I found some statements that contradict my theological beliefs, specifically in Chapter 2. I lean toward Reformed theology and hold different beliefs than Naomi regarding free will and God’s sovereignty. Even with these differences, I enjoyed her acknowledgment that, despite the process being out of our control, God can use this time to display His great faithfulness. Naomi puts it this way:
There is so much we can, and should, bring to God during our wait! The variables and unknowns compel us to pray. While we are limited to our own part of making this process happen, our God is unlimited in resources and power! What an encouraging realization. The waiting part of the journey holds the tremendous gift of experiencing God’s unfailing faithfulness.
Looking back, I see all the ways God used trials, waiting, and other seasons to bring me closer to Him. I am someone who desires control, but these periods of my life showed me not only my lack of control but God’s great love and faithfulness. His plan is far better than anything I could imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21).
Seasons of waiting are hard, and the adoption wait is no different. I am thankful for women like Naomi who have reflected on those seasons to understand what God taught them and are now seeking to glorify God by ministering to others in similar circumstances.
If you want more information on adoption and Naomi’s story, be sure to check out Naomi’s blog: Living Out 127 As a momma of 6, including two adoptions, her blog is definitely one to follow if you have adopted, are trying to adopt, are praying about adopting, or know anyone in any of those categories! She has some exciting new projects in the works, including another book and an e-course to help prepare foster and adoptive families.
Additional Resources for Hopeful Adoptive Parents
- Jason’s blog is a great resource for families and churches involved in foster care and adoption
- Resources and parenting training for foster and adoptive parents
- Encouragement for the church and church leaders to become actively involved in adoption and foster care.
- The most influential book in our decision to adopt. Russell Moore provides an overview of adoption in the Bible and why every believer has a role to play in orphan care.
And now for the fun surprise! Giveaway! Giveaway has ended
Congratulations to Lindsey, the winner of the giveaway!
One randomly selected person will receive a copy of Naomi’s book, Don’t Waste Your Wait: Embracing the Journey of Bringing Your Child Home. To enter, leave a comment below telling me why you would like to read this book. Don’t forget to share with your friends, especially if they are considering adopting or are already in process.